The Oracle of Oberhausen

„Paul the octopus was no more than a starlet then, it seemed, destined to go the way of all spineless creatures, soon forgotten. One beak, three hearts, eight arms and a rumored nine brains could only take this German cephalopod so far. But Paul’s psychic powers proved greater than the sum of his parts, earning him a Facebook page and live global coverage of his unerring World Cup predictions. Calls have multiplied to have this invertebrate intuit everything from the end of the Greek financial crisis to the next Iraqi prime minister. (...)

The World Cup, after all, is the world’s most watched event. If any occurrence — social, emotional, psychological and spiritual — is capable of channeling human energy to an octopus in Oberhausen, then surely this one is. The relationship between Paul’s eating choices and the World Cup results may not be causal in nature, but, hey, I’m prepared to believe it speaks of Jung’s deeper order, one that connects man and mollusk. It was a great World Cup. The best team won. Without eating mussels, I predicted a Spanish victory at the outset before having a German wobble caused by emotion to which octopi are immune.

Speaking of emotion, Germans got upset with Paul for predicting their team’s semi-final loss to Spain, calling for him to be roasted, as witches were once. I’m partial to well-spiced octopus but think Paul can be put to better uses, among them predicting possible outcomes of BP’s attempts to cap the Gulf oil spill. The depths ought to be his element — even more than the beautiful game.”